Lucky Jelly Donuts
by Exoskeletal
Summary: After a conversation with Konata, Kagami finds herself with a gnawing hunger for jelly donuts. But will she find some? Of course she will. One shot, completely pointless.


**Lucky Jelly Donuts:**

This is just a silly one-shot with no meaning. I don't own Lucky Star.

–

It was an early summer evening. Kagami lay on her bed, cell phone pressed to her ear, and listened to the noise of the cicadas in between helping Konata with her homework.

It was hot, but the window was open and the air-conditioning was on. Kagami lazed around in a T-shirt and blue jeans, feeling pleasantly relaxed and sleepy. Konata's voice was a lazy drone in her ears. She knew she would just end up letting the otaku copy her answers anyway. Her own homework was already done and she had just finished helping Tsukasa with hers.

All was right with the world, and Kagami deserved a break.

Until, of course, Konata had to make trouble.

"And then you carry the two..." Kagami was saying slowly.

"_Hey, Kagami?_" Konata interrupted suddenly, loud enough to catch her friend's attention.

"What is it?" Kagami asked. The effort made her yawn.

"_I just remembered I heard something today. I think it might be bad news for you._" Konata's sigh was a burst of static over the phone, but Kagami knew that tone of voice. Konata was working up to tease her about something.

"Oh yeah?" Kagami asked warily, rolling over sideways on her bed. She was still too sleepy to be really worried, though.

"_Well...do you like jelly donuts?_"

Jelly donuts. The words echoed in Kagami's head like the sound of far-off bells and a great feeling of nostalgia washed inexorably through her. Her eyes widened.

"I...I don't think I've ever eaten one," said Kagami eventually, sleepiness forgotten as she sat up shakily. She felt a sudden, deep melancholy. Her words were true—she remembered passing jelly donuts at various pastry aisles and bakeries, but she had never reached for one. Never even thought of it.

"_Kagami! I am surprised there is anything you haven't eaten!_" Konata's voice brought her back to reality.

"Shut up!" Kagami riposted, but it was more reflex than anything. Suddenly, all she could think of were jelly donuts. They looked so good, they smelled so good. They would taste so good...Kagami's mouth watered.

No! What was she thinking? Kagami thumped back down on her bed, staring hard at the ceiling. She'd just had dinner! And she was on a diet! She couldn't be hungry now. She was better than this. And why wasn't Konata saying anything?

"_Kagami? Kagami, are you there?_"

Kagami sat up again, discovering that she'd put her cell phone down while she was distracted. She picked it up and put it to her ear again.

"I'm back. Sorry about that."

"_Is something bothering you, Kagami?_"

Yes, thought Kagami, and her stomach rumbled loudly. That was it!

"Konata," she said quickly, "I'll be right back. I'm hungry."

"_I thought you were always hungr_—"

Turning off her phone, Kagami shoved it in her pocket and hurried downstairs. A bag of freshly-bought potato chips beckoned from a cupboard in the kitchen. Normally, Kagami would have left them to her sisters, but this was an emergency.

Tearing open the bag, Kagami dug in on the spot. She bolted down the salty chips as fast as possible, breaking them apart with solid bites and then stuffing them three at a time into her mouth. Sometimes the hard sides of some of the bigger chip pieces got stuck in her gullet, but the purple-pigtailed girl was impervious to the pain as she struggled to quench her growing hunger.

To no avail. After a few minutes of steady eating, Kagami realized that the hole in her stomach was not being filled. In fact, the effort of eating only made her feel hungrier. She barely noticed the taste as she ate the potato chips, normally a forbidden treat themselves, and she felt neither satisfaction nor fullness.

All she could think of was how much better a jelly donut would be. It would be soft and doughy, not hard, and once her teeth had sank past the moist outside...then she would taste the liquid jelly within. Kagami's mouth watered again. The imagined hint of a perfect, soft, jammy taste turned the brittle, salty potato chips to ashes in her mouth.

"Damn it!" Kagami cursed aloud, throwing aside the half-empty bag. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

A great pang of hunger made her stomach rumble. Licking excess salt from her lips and fingers with a regrettable lack of relish, she hurried over to the counter. Kagami couldn't cook, but if she wanted something soft a mayonnaise sandwich was easily within her capabilities.

Getting bread from the cupboard and mayonnaise from the fridge, she selected a butter knife and spread a good helping of the sour white condiment across her bread. It wasn't sweet, but combined with the bread it could be jelly-like enough. Kagami considered using sugar, but after the chips her mouth revolted at the idea of chewing hard grains of anything.

"Itadakimasu!" Kagami muttered, digging into the ready-made sandwich. It was better than the potato chips, but the bread felt hard and cold under her teeth. The mayonnaise was even colder, more icky, and she must have spread it on too hard with the knife because bread crumbs had gotten into it. Nevertheless, Kagami scoffed down the sandwich as best she could. It made her feel slightly slick and did nothing to ease her cravings.

Then she reached for the bread bag again, only to pause. Wasn't this ridiculous? Going down to the store and just buying a jelly donut wouldn't be that hard to do. And why was she thinking of it like some terrible failing? What was she afraid of? Pigging out on bread and chips would be a lot worse for her weight than a single jelly donut. It was obvious at this point.

And if the pastry itself fell below her imagination in terms of taste, then she could stop thinking about it. And if not, well...it wasn't likely. You get tired of everything eventually. And reality is never as good as fantasy, anticipation is the best sauce, etc.

Comforting herself with these maxims, Kagami sighed and began putting away the food she had gotten out. She took her time, embracing the hunger that was building in her stomach and letting it fuel her determination. When she was done, she fetched her coat and purse and checked her cash supply carefully. That was right, she thought, if I'm going to do this I have to be prepared. Like Konata at Comiket.

Konata, Kagami thought suddenly. This was all Konata's fault! What the hell had the midget been trying to tell her, anyway? Kagami reminded herself to rebuke her friend later. After she had gotten a jelly donut. Or two, or three, or however many it took.

With that in mind, she put her purse in her coat pocket, donned the coat, and walked purposefully to the door.

"Kagami? Where are you going?" It was Matsuri, looking inquisitively over from the living room couch as Kagami put her shoes on.

"I'm just going out a for bit...there's something I need to eat," said Kagami quietly, not looking up. For a moment she felt a little ashamed of wasting time and money on such a pointless errand. But...it was better if she got this over with now. She knew that, even if nobody else could understand.

"Okay, have fun!" said Matsuri, going back to watching the television.

"Thanks, Oneechan," Kagami whispered, shooting her oblivious sister a grateful glance.

Then she hurried outside. Mounting her bicycle, she pedaled rapidly off to the convenience store. It was a bit hazy in her mind, but she thought the last jelly donut she'd seen had been in the pastry aisle there. The thought gave wings to her feet, and before she knew it she was pulling up in the familiar parking lot.

Locking her bike, Kagami walked inside. Her eyes scanned the pastry aisle aisle above and below, as well as the bread aisle and the food section of the exhibit below the counter. But the treats were all gone—not a single donut remained. Of course, Kagami thought, it's too late in the day.

But she wasn't defeated yet. Late or not, the local pastry shop was sure to have them in stock. They specialized in such things, after all. Yes, Kagami thought, in fact she was beginning to think that was where she had seen a jelly donut last, after all. Sitting on a platter in the display case beneath the counter of the pastry shop. That was it. That was the jelly donut that was haunting her mind...surely!

Turning on her heel, Kagami strode out of the convenience store. Scrambling back onto her bicycle, the pigtailed girl set off for the pastry shop at double time. She had to hurry, before somebody else was before her. Her legs revolved like pistons on the pedals, faster and faster. She stood up as she rode, gripping the handlebars like death and panting like a steam engine.

At last, it seemed, Kagami tore into the pastry shop parking lot and screeched to a halt. Letting her bike fall over, she flicked the sweat from her brow and rushed in. Bang! Head first into the glass door. Head spinning, Kagami tried again and then hurried inside. Her eyes fixed immediately on the donut section of the display. And there were donuts! Big ones, small ones, frosted ones and glazed ones and chocolate ones, oh my. Kagami panted hungrily and pressed her face to the glass.

But...everywhere her eyes went, they were frustrated! There were no jelly donuts. In fact, there was an empty platter with the words 'jelly donut' on the bar below it! Kagami looked left and right, up and down, but she could see no others.

"Miss? Can I help you?" The cashier was peering over the counter at her.

"Oh yes!" Kagami straightened up and bowed, quickly, embarrassed at her own folly. She should have just asked at once. "Jelly donut! I mean, jelly donuts! I'm looking for jelly donuts, please."

"Oh..." the cashier's face fell. "What a shame. If you had only a come a little earlier. Well, it can't be helped I'm afraid. We're all sold out. People have been buying them in droves, since we first heard the news."

"...Heard the news?" The words fell like hammer-blows in slow motion through the recesses of Kagami's mind.

"Oh yes. The new 15% sales tax on jelly donuts, right? It's going into effect today, but of course there's been a run on the stores since it was announced. People bought all the jelly donuts in the place. But, you know, you might try the bakery. They might still have a few left..."

Kagami stared wide-eyed up at the cashier. "Where's the bakery?"

The woman sighed. "You know, you could just eat a different kind of donut. It's not like jelly donuts are the only sugary, sweet, liquid ones. These chocolate glazed donuts, for instance, have all the same qualities if you let them heat up for a little while. Or just eat carefully. Let the chocolate melt on your tongue."

Kagami's eyes traveled slowly down to a display of chocolate glazed donuts. They looked very good, Kagami agreed, but only intellectually. Exercise and frustration had made her appetite grow, but her belly hungered only for jelly donuts. Looking at other kinds of pastry was like looking at a stone statue of an ice cream cone. It made you hungry, but only for the real thing. Even if it was illogical, Kagami knew she wouldn't be satisfied until she had tasted the sweet taste of jelly donuts.

Besides, she had already had chocolate glazed ones before. They were good, but she knew how they tasted already.

"No," she said aloud, lowering her head so that her bangs hid her eyes. "I only want a jelly donut."

"Can I ask why?"

Kagami's fists clenched at her side. "I've never had one before and now I want one. Is there something wrong with that, huh?"

Suddenly it felt like a grave injustice. It made the purple-haired girl reflect on other injustices done her. Konata teasing her about her weight and copying her homework, the way she felt obligated to diet and always felt guilty about eating her favorite foods, the way she had never eaten a jelly donut before...

The cashier looked shocked at Kagami's vehemence. "I...I'm sorry," she said. "I had no idea you felt so strongly about it."

But Kagami was already stomping her way out of the shop, face flushed with anger and determination. Pulling her bike upright, she sped off into the city. She would find that bakery!

It was a few moments later, pedaling viciously down the road, that Kagami realized she had no idea where the bakery was. The idea of going back and asking flickered through her mind, but she was too angry and embarrassed to think of it. She would find it on her own, dammit. But she had no idea where...her feet slowed on the pedals as she realized she was heading nowhere in particular.

I need a plan, thought Kagami.

Suddenly, her cell phone buzzed in her pocket. Reluctantly, Kagami stopped her bike against the sidewalk and took it out. The caller was Konata. The desire to furiously turn the device off and the desire to get some much-needed stress relief yelling at her friend battled briefly in Kagami's mind. The latter won out.

Accepting the call with a click, Kagami put the phone to her ear. "Moshi moshi..." she growled furiously.

"_Yo! Kagami!" _Konata, of course, sounded as carefree as ever. "_Are you still eating?"_

"What?!" Kagami had forgotten the end of their previous discussion, but the question maddened her immediately. "No, I'm not eating! How could I be?"

It came out more bitterly than perhaps she had intended.

"_Ooh, Kagami, have mercy..." _Konata sounded delighted.

And that just made Kagami angrier. "Look, I don't have time to talk now. Did you want something, or not?"

"_Can't I just check up on a friend?"_

For a moment, Kagami felt bad. But then she remembered this was all Konata's fault—and that realization was very therapeutic. "You expect me to believe that's all you want?" she barked. "You probably just want to copy the rest of my notes or something!"

On the other side, Konata sounded like she was squirming in faux-nervousness. "_Kagami is extra scary today...oh, I don't know if I can invite her to eat with me like this..."_

Eat with her? Kagami was confused. The only thing that came to mind was when they ate lunch together at school. At any rate, it was annoying. "What are you talking about, Konata?" she demanded. "Speak properly for once!"

Abruptly, Konata's voice became completely deadpan. "_Jelly donuts, Kagami."_

Kagami twitched. Her fingers tightened reflexively on the phone until it creaked audibly. That was right! The midget knew something about jelly donuts. How had she forgotten? "What do you know about jelly donuts? I mean, what about them?" Kagami demanded, suddenly breathless.

"_Well, I don't know if I should tell you..."_

"Tell me!" Or so help me god, I'll squeeze it out of you, Kagami thought savagely.

"_No, no. What about your diet? It would be irresponsible of me to tempt you..."_

"Konata..." Kagami ground her teeth, loud enough for Konata to hear her.

"_Well, my dad's actually a big fan of jelly donuts. So it seems yesterday he went out and bought a bunch of them, but he forgot that he has a business trip today. So this morning he told me to eat them before they went bad. You see, he told me there's a new sales tax..._

Kagami felt like she couldn't breath. "Have you eaten them yet? Are they still there?"

"_Jeez, Kagami. I couldn't eat all these jelly donuts. I figured only you could do that...but if you've already eaten it's okay and—"_

"I'm coming!" said Kagami, and shut her phone with a decisive flick.

Stuffing it in her pocket, she stood there breathing heavily for a moment and looking into the distance. Now she needed to get home, put away her bike and get on the train. Damn.

But Kagami never for a moment considered putting it off. Turning her bicycle around, she peddled doggedly off for home. The traffic increased as she went, trucks and vans honking in annoyance as they found their progress impeded by the presence of a cyclist on the side of the road. Kagami peddled harder, but she refused to give way. I break for no-one, she thought.

Finally, she arrived back outside her own driveway. Kagami sighed with relief as she dismounted and put her bicycle away. It was getting late, and she felt hungrier than ever. Kagami hesitated in the driveway. She couldn't very well just walk all the way over there and come back in the middle of the night, could she? She would have to ask Konata if she could sleep over and make preparations...

Going inside, however, Kagami was accosted by her mother.

"Kagami?" she asked. "What are you up to?"

"Huh?" Violently blasted from her plans, Kagami said the first thing that came to mind. "I'm going to Konata's place to eat her jelly donuts." Oh, wait. "I mean, I'm going for a study session!"

–

Later that evening, Kagami knocked at the door of the Izumi household. She was still dispirited over her embarrassing slip-up, and she had gained a bag with her clothes and toiletries and a backpack full of textbooks. And more importantly, she was hungrier than ever.

The door opened and light spilled out, revealing Konata in blue jeans and a tank top. "Kagami! Welcome!" she chirped. "Come in, come in."

"Th...thanks for having me." Kagami bowed, suddenly a bit embarrassed about her whole mission. She followed Konata inside and wiped her shoes carefully on the mat before taking them off. Then her stomach rumbled loudly.

"Oho! You sounded so nice on that phone call, I thought you had forgotten." Konata tittered. "But I should have known..."

Kagami's embarrassment vanished again. She snarled and grabbed the midget by the collar, lifting her up to eye level. "Can it, Konata," she said darkly. "Where are the jelly donuts?"

Konata screwed up her face and looked away. "Too late. I ate them all..."

"What?!"

Konata's face swiveled back around. "Just kidding."

"Ugh." Kagami put Konata back down and let go, rubbing her heart. "You idiot, you really scared me there..."

"They're in my room!" said Konata, waving her up the stairs. "Come along."

Konata wasn't lying. In the center of her room, sitting in a circle of half-open manga, game controllers and potato-chip crumbs, sat an open cardboard box. Inside the box were several plastic trays with jelly donuts wrapped in plastic film on top of them. A lot of them.

They were round, and fluffy, cooked to a light brown on the top. Bits of flour, icing sugar and sprinkles from other donuts had stuck to them in places, and some smears of red jelly remained on the sides or top to mark where the syringe had gone into them. They were real jelly donuts.

Kagami approached the box as Sir Lancelot might have approached the Holy Grail. Given her sins, she wondered if she was truly worthy of this honor. Wait, what sins? Kagami hadn't done anything wrong! She rebuked herself for the stupidity of that thought.

"I guess you want to eat right away, huh?" Konata reached down and picked up one of the trays. Kagami wanted to rebuke her friend for the casual way she held it. "Knowing Kagami..." Konata tore open the plastic film with her fingers.

"We...we should at least use a plate." Kagami swallowed a lot of drool and her stomach grumbled again. "I'll be right back."

Konata was already digging in by the time Kagami returned. The purple-haired girl tried not to look at the soft dough crumbling away from her friend's teeth, or the thick red jelly oozing out.

Sitting down, she picked up a jelly donut and carefully set it down on top of the plate. Then she stared at it until the sound of Konata eating drove her over the edge. "Itadakimasu!" Kagami shouted. And she grabbed the jelly donut and took a big bite out of it.

Quickly, Kagami chewed what she had bitten off. Her eyes closed. Then she took another bite, and another. The third bite was slower and Kagami chewed more carefully. She licked a bit of jelly from the middle of the donut before going on, taking small bites until the pastry was nothing but crumbs in her hand. Kagami flicked the crumbs onto her plate and took out a second jelly donut. She took one, small bite and chewed it up before pausing. Her eyes opened.

Konata had just finished her own donut. She swallowed noisily and cleared her throat before speaking. "So, what do you think?"

"They're...not very good," said Kagami numbly. "The dough tastes stale, there's not enough jelly inside, and all in all they aren't nearly as tasty as chocolate glazed donuts. I really should have known."

They sat in silence for several minutes.

Then a sly smile crossed Konata's face. "But you'll eat them all anyway, right Kagamin?"

"What?" Kagami spluttered in indignation, spraying crumbs from around her mouth. "No way I can eat all these!"

"Oh well," Konata sighed. "I suppose we can give the rest to Yutaka."

"Okay."

They finished off two more jelly donuts and then fell silent. Neither moved for awhile.

"Want to play a game?" Konata asked.

"Sure," Kagami agreed. She didn't feel up to studying right now. "What did you have in mind?"

"Ma**o," said Konata, picking up a controller.

They played. After a few minutes, Kagami looked over at her friend. "Hey, Konata? I'm sorry I was so rude to you before. I was feeling strange."

"It's fine!" Konata waved a small hand magnanimously. "By the way, what do you want for dinner?"

Kagami blinked, realizing she was still hungry. "Uh, whatever you were planning on?"

Konata grinned and put down her controller. "Roast beast it is, then."

Afterward, Konata and Kagami ate a hearty dinner. They played many games and discussed many issues, and Konata copied Kagami's homework. By the time she went home the next morning, Kagami had forgotten all about the jelly donuts.

And they all lived happily ever after. Including Yutaka, who soon got over a slight bout of tummy ache.

_fin_

–

Thank you for reading.


End file.
